I'm in love with my best friend/ex-lover/only friend.?

If you take him as a friend then that's what he is a friend but i think you mistook him for a friend while he was something more...It would have really hurt cause 8 years is a lot....what you should have had done was, was to give him time to settle and commit...while you did not but i would really not blame you...every girl dreams that.You should tell him what you feel before he moves on and leaves you back...where you wont be able to talk and see him as much as now...get off the anti-depressants they really don't help...they just get your mind go more insane.Tell him everything that you have told here and if he still does not understand then i think he is better off as a friend cause that means you are wasting your concern he may be a waste of time and concern...move on if it is to make you feel better...he is just a reminder of your happy lovely past so go out find someone who is more beautiful as a person and loves you what so ever and never leaves you...trust me there are soo many men you may find better than him only if you don't compare them with him or the things you like in him...Hope i was of any help...Good Luck